Why Homosexuals Think they Are Hated

Pope Benedict XVI and others have recently drawn attention to the fact that simply putting forward the Church’s unchanging teachings on marriage and sexual morality puts a person in the position of being accused of “hate.” In particular, GLBT (gay lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered) activists are demanding that Catholics and those of other religions change 4,000-year-old teachings about marriage and sexual morality. When believers answer that they are not authorized to make such changes in what God has revealed, the GLBT  activists accuse them of “hate,” even going so far as to charge them with “hate crimes.”

It doesn’t matter how gently the words are spoken or how carefully the message is phrased, the GLBT activists only hear “hate.”

Although there is no one cause for same-sex attraction (SSA), in many instances it can be linked to childhood gender identity disorder — the failure to identify strongly with one’s own same-sex parent or peers in the first two years of life. Some persons with SSA as children wanted to be other sex or pretended to be the other sex, while others simply felt ‘different’ from their same-sex parent and peers.

Very often the child’s relationship with the father was seriously deficient. Not having a positive, healthy relationship with one’s father affects the way a person deals with authority, rules, and rejection. Often persons with SSA were rejected by peers, who did understand their ‘different’ behavior. Every time the unhealed adult with SSA feels rejection, faces discipline, or is confronted with rules, he remembers the pain of his relationship with his father or peers. He transfers these feelings to those who oppose him and screams in pain “You hate me, you hate me.”

The only real solution in these cases is for persons with SSA to forgive their fathers and to be reconciled with their father God. Until that happens we cannot take their anger personally. We must speak clearly about the need for healing and repentance — but remember that the sexual sin is the fruit of a developmental disorder and often the first sin that must be repented of is the sin of resentment.

I had an opportunity to see this work with a woman who had been involved in lesbian activity. While the healing process was long and difficult, it began when she forgave her parents. From that moment on, she never returned to the same-sex activity.

Persons with SSA are themselves filled with anger and ‘hate’ and they project that on anyone who opposes their demands. They assume we must be as angry as they are. We must constantly remind ourselves that under their anger and their hate, persons with SSA are wounded men and women. As small children they accepted the lie that they were different. They were unable to embrace their true identities as sons and daughters of God. In spite of their anger and false accusations, we must continue to speak the truth. Only by this means can we help them find their way out of the lies in which have been trapped. And most of all we need to pray for them.

Dale O'Leary


Dale O’Leary is the author of The Gender Agenda and One Man, One Woman. Her blog can be found at http://daleoleary.wordpress.com/

  • Pargontwin

    You are so right.  Recently I had the misfortune of encountering that phenomenon myself; I simply said I could not understand the current “fad” of publicly “coming out” among gay celebrities, even holding press conferences to announce the fact.  My stand was simply, I’m not interested in their sexual orientation; I’m simply interested in their talent as actor, singer, or whatever.   For this I was vilified, my words twisted to mean I wished they would all stay “in the closet.”  It caused such a hue and cry in the Facebook group in which it happened that the moderator had to intervene.  This is an extremely active fan-group; a day did not go by that I did not receive a notice that someone  had posted something there, but, since that incident, I have not received a single notice.  I find I cannot even pull up the group anymore (it’s an invitation-only group), so I must only conclude that I was banned.  I can’t even contact the moderator to find out for certain. 

    It was George Orwell who said that when deception is universal, telling the truth is revolutionary.  Ain’t that the truth!

  • JP

    What is this post-modern obsession with homosexuality? Even at First Things, a month doesn’t go by without some essay extolling the hidden virtues of being gay. I’ve known a few men who were serial adulterers (and a few women too). What if they demanded the same recognition that gays get? And if gays think they have such a heavy existential load to bear, talkt to the many recovering people addicted to porn. It cost Tiger Woods his family, his reputation, and his career (not to mention a half billion dollars). I’m sure all of us Sinners have tales to tell. But, in the end we do not demand the Church turn our vices and sins into virtues. There are drug addicts, robbers, people who covet, and are full of avarice. There are serial liars and people who are constantly on the make. But, it is this one single predeliction of SSA that seems to hold everyone spellbound.

    • Hellojohn99

      You should write an editorial!

    • TiredoftheChickenlittles

      Right. Likening what homosexuals feel for each other as a sin is like me telling you that the impulse you have for your wife is sin. There are many gay couples that live out committed love in relationships. They run the gamut of good and bad relationships just like hetero relationships. But asking them to forego love because our organization refuses to deepen its understanding about sexuality? Sorry, time is chipping away at this tiny group of right wing fringe folks you have here.

      No. The time came for slavery to end, and the time came to stop treating women like property. The time is coming for gay people to be fully recognized. I know almost everyone here disagrees with me, but it will come to pass. Someday, far far in the future… But someday.

      • Thx1

        The problem is, there is no such thing as “gay people”. For reasons unknown, a small percentage of people experience romantic and erotic desire for their same gender, and for reasons unknown, some of that group experience those desires exclusively for the same gender. However while a small percentage of people experience homo-erotic desire, that in no way makes them “a people”. It is not an ontology. 
        And I would counter that it is the modern world in general, and the homosexual lobby in particular, that steadfastly refuses, or is pathologically incapable, of deepening their understanding of sexual intimacy. 

      • bobbylang

              “…that live out committed love in relationships…”?? How  does a gay person  live out a committed love in relationships??  By holding hands prayerfully? By asking god to bless the “relationship”? 
                Deepen its “Understanding” of sexuality! How does one do that? It is really pretty simple, it’s not an Olympic Game and its purpose is frankly quite obvious? To procreate!
               Perhaps someone has told you that deviant behavior is really as acceptable as normal behavior as long the practitioners are OK about it??
              This is the rationale you use to justify the comparison of gay “love”, to that of loving the opposite sex?
               Oh Boy are you in for a rude awakening!!

      • The world is not flat.

        Sorry to burst your bubble, but far, far in the future the human reproductive system will still be the same and people will continue to recognize that homosexual activity is not normal to its scientific purpose. Biology is the physical truth and homosexuals will never be able to overcome it.

    • Mark Rutledge

      We merely ride to the sound of the guns, JP.  If porn addicts, drug addicts, robbers, etc. were demanding normalization of their favorite sin, and actively working within our institutions, both public and private, to do so, perhaps you would see more on those topics.   As it it, the issue of homosexuality sits on the front lines of the culture war, and it is not the Christian side playing the part of aggressor.

  • poetcomic1

       Childhood wounds become most pernicious when homosexual radicals eagerly seek to deeply corrupt the innocence of children by A) ‘Educating’ children so they know about homosexuality and what it is in a fairly graphic way. B) Condone and even glorify same sex activity.  They want the minds of your children – fresh meat.

    • hombre111

      Proof in point.  “They want the minds of your children–fresh meat.”   Yep, you do hate homosexuals. 

      • Brian A. Cook

         Hombre, thank you for calling out a virulent conspiracy theory. 

        • poetcomic1

          There are truly debased and evil and hate-filled souls ‘representing’ our homosexual brothers and sisters in Christ.  They are readily spotted. They embrace a truly Satanic hatred of truth and all embracing cynicism that kills the very soul – it is called ‘camp’ and it has permeated the entire culture with its vile weary decadence and irony.  The conspiracy theory not only exists but is succeeding beyond its own wildest dreams.  The blow-back will be terrible to behold

      • mary alice harron

        No, actually they are telling like it is. There is no validity to a sexual relationship between a child and an adult. Nor is there any virtue in throwing sexual information at children. Sexual activity is for ADULTS!

        • hombre111

          Couldn’t agree with you more.  Sexual activity is for adults.  But sexuality begins at birth and children need to learn how to deal, at age appropriate levels, with that dynamic part of their lives.   This should be done by parents, of course, but research shows over and over again that parents really let the kids down in that regard.  They are often so insecure about their own sexuality they cannot begin to deal with their own kids and their sexuality.   Happened to me.  At age eleven, I manifested some curiosity about sex.  My father’s response was to literally beat and kick me half to death and then lecture me about the beauty of sex.   That really worked. 

          • JustaGuest

             Nothing is going to work for you until you accept that homo”sex”ual activity is acting on a disordered basis and begin to move to the light.

            • hombre111

              First, I am a  heterosexual with never a thought about homosexual activity.   So, I am not trying to justify my own activity or inclination.  But I stand up for my brothers and sisters who have been abused and vilified beyond historical memory. 

          • Cord_Hamrick


            A possibly-relevant question: Was the
            kicking and beating a normal part of his reaction to questions? If not, then what were your father’s experiences with
            sexual matters during childhood and early development, that he should
            react so strongly to an innocent question from his son? This is not to excuse the man, but to note that few fathers sin against their children in such a way. Why did he? What’s his story?

            Beyond that, I respectfully ask: Have you forgiven your father?

            • hombre111

              Cord, it’s good to hear from you again.   Insightful comment.  My father’s mother was a prostitute and I think he was acting out of pain I can barely imagine.  Because of that, I have tried to forgive him.  But memory is funny:  When you stir it up again, you also stir up the pain and have to deal with forgiveness all over again. 

              • Cord_Hamrick

                Re: “When you stir it up again, you also stir up the pain and have to deal with forgiveness all over again.  ”

                Ho, boy, don’t I know it. Although in my case it isn’t related to parent-directed sex ed, which my folks handled just fine.

                But in other matters of life I’ve had to forgive, intended to do so, thought I’d let go of the pain, and then, years later, some aspect of the matter would come up in an unrelated context and I’d get reminded of the whole thing. I’d experience the same old pain and blood-boiling anger again, and have to go through the whole de-escalation and releasing process again.

                It’s a little easier each time, a little less acute each time. But it’s amazing how after a decade and more some injuries, under the right conditions still ache. (Rather like with a physical injury. But at least with a physical injury, you often end up with a nifty new way to predict changes in the weather. It seems a bit unfair that there is no corresponding prognosticative value to heart-wounds.)

                • hombre111

                  Right on.  That is why I consider true forgiveness a miracle, one of the signs of the Spirit.

          • The world is not flat.

             Proof in point. Sounds like you suffer from what the article describes as “relationship with the father was seriously deficient”.

            • hombre111

              Yep.  But I’m heterosexual.  Don’t remember choosing to be that way.  Spent some serious Google time researching the biological and environmental origins of homosexuality.  Read a whole boatload of research papers.  The general conclusion is:  Homosexual tendencies are decided in part biologically (via research with twins and homosexual brothers) and in part environmentally.   Accompanied by serious brain changes.  The pattern seems to be set early in childhood and seems almost unbreakable. 

              And the abuse against homosexuals begins in junior high.  It extends to churches who think you are damned if you are gay.  And goes on to this pointless article.  

          • JP

            Ah yes, the gay gene!

            • hombre111

              I did a huge Google search when all this came up.  Discovered there is research with identical twins that shows an almost 50/50 chance that both brothers (the research was done with males) will be gay.   Looking at siblings, if one brother is gay, the chances are much higher that another brother will be gay. 

              Also being researched is the notion of nurture.  For instance, they have examined the effect of high levels of androgen in the womb before birth.    The conclusions seem to be going in this direction:  For gay men, the situation is more or less set by the time of three or four, and is almost impossible to change. 

            • Proteios1

              JP, respectfully, there is no gay gene. My fellow geneticists often joke about the article declaring a gay gene which was published about 10yrs ago. A few followed, which it was quickly understood the errors in the methodology. In short, genes don’t work like that. Arguments centering on pollutants like BPA and other sex hormone/steroid mimics is a strong candidate. As are hormone overproduction, which may be caused by outside chemicals disrupting native function. Due to the secondary function of signaling pathways involved in sexual development it is less likely a gene mutation causing the existence of a gay gene.

        • Jagged9

          No body is describing gay sex to your children in explicit, personal detail to your children any more than you are when you tell them “One day you’ll get married to a nice (opposite gender).” All people who support gay marriage do is try to give the new generation a chance to be comfortable with themselves, even if their parents read the inane scribblings of idiots like Dale O’Leary. Your logic is flawed, when someone explains to your child why its ok if they’re attracted to the same gender when they grow up you’ll be like “Hey! sexual activity is for ADULTS!” But you’ll go everyday through a culture that celebrates not only straightness, but straight sexuality, and is willing to show many sexually charged images to a child and your only bothered when it gay.

      • Thx1

        One would be seriously remiss not condemn what the homosexual lobby is doing to young children.

        • Brian A. Cook

           Is that article truthful?

          • Thx1

            Yes, tragically. 

        • hombre111

          One would be seriously remiss not to condemn the way homosexuals are treated by so many, beginning with any boy in junior high who seems soft or feminine.   As an old teacher, I have seen such boys hounded almost to death.   Most of the time, they were not homosexual, just not the he-man type.  Once in a while I would see the bullies hound a kid into thinking he was gay.   In answer to JP below, the obsession with homosexuality begins very early.  As I said, in junior high.  Uncertain of their own sexuality, the bullies try to prove their masculinity by picking on softer kids. 

          Probably the fear of homosexuality is strongest among Hispanics.  When I was in South America, the men seemed to consider it a disease they might have caught between May and September.  The only proof they were not homosexual was to have another child.  If the child turned out to be a girl, the issue was still in doubt. 

      • Marv

        It’s not hate for the homosexual. It’s love for our children. We don’t want our children hurt in other ways, either.

      • bobbylang

        hombre111:   Please note that, the public  grade school “Diversity Training”, the mantra of the new “progressive” educational programs, and it’s sole purpose is, to attempt to validate,  aberrant behavior of a flawed group.
            That is my opinion, but firmly held!
             That is not hate! That is a very sad reality!
             It is as sad as the situation of most gay folk, who go through life as bewildered as any other person with a psychological flaw, but to address it as such, or attempt a cure, is considered “HATE”!

        • hombre111

          We are all bewildered and flawed.  Conservatives are bewildered in a world that is changing so fast around them.  And so, like doomed passengers in a sinking boat, they cling to the superstructure that is sinking fast. 

          I do think that in many ways, the conservatives have the right of it.  But I think they are totally wrong about homosexuals and their demand for simple respect. 

          • bobbylang

                    Thank you for admitting that you are bewildered and flawed!
                    You are a tad presumptuous, when you suppose “Conservatives” are so overwhelmed by current affairs, that they are going down with the ship clinging to prehistoric understanding! Far from it, if anything, they are calculating if, when and how far they need to jump from the ship.
                   You seem to have missed the point entirely, Homosexuals are “demanding” a “protection” from any criticism, or reasonable evaluation. They are automatically supposed to be allowed any, and all, opportunities to proselytize, and recruit, for their own ends and to do so, often clandestinely, without hindrance, or objection by the “straight” community!
                   Well I believe that to be biased, and unreasonable, and any person that does not appreciate that, is surely “bewildered”

  • Brian A. Cook

    The sad fact is that there really are Christians who promote hatred and try to silence their opponents.  Liberal websites have gathered mountains of evidence.  The prime piece of evidence is a bill that keeps popping up in Uganda.   I am very saddened to see denials. 

    The sad fact is that the Church is accused of handing out a license to kill.  I was relieved to see Chilean bishops condemning the murder of a homosexual man at the hands of Neo-Nazis.   Condemning violence and hatred against homosexual persons is surely not Orwellian. 

    • J G

      I think the point is that homosexuals consider that anyone, anywhere, who disagrees with their lifestyle is exhibiting “hate” and must be stopped by any means necessary. I remember the Act Up protests where the Eucharist was desecrated. The annual march past St. Pat’s where homosexuals expose themselves in front of the cathedral. Mary Stachowitz who was killed for her faith by a homosexual, who was not charged with a hate crime. I believe it is the homosexuals who are promoting hatred.

    • Brian B. Cook

      “The sad fact is there are really Christians who” are gay liberal secularists who spend an enormous amount of time offering comments in various online orthodox publications.  I believe they are called trolls…

      • Brian A. Cook

        I never said I was gay or liberal or a secularist.  I have a complicated and difficult history of seeking truth wherever it is found, mainly through Mother Church. 

        •  I appreciate your comments here, Brian. Not seeing a lot of charity in these threads . . .

  • Marc

    In “How to Win the Culture War” Peter Kreeft relates a conversation he had with a gay-activist professor.  In the course of the conversation, he has a revelation: his interlocutor’s religion is gay sex.  I’m not sure there’s a better way to put it: it’s their religion, and any attempt to dissuade or “convert” them is akin to religious persecution.

    • Brian A. Cook

      I had the impression that his religion is liberal democracy. 

      • Cord_Hamrick

         Whose? Kreeft? Or the gay activist?

        Either way, I don’t think many people can have liberal democracy for a religion. Or not for long.

        Yes, some of the monuments in D.C. are impressive at first sight. But the thing itself, when practiced, is so utterly non-transcendent, so fraught with compromise and disappointment and constant concession to the petty and the shady in man, that the only mature attitude towards it is: A Democratic Republic, Constitutionally granted Limited, Enumerated Powers by the Consent of the Governed for the purpose of Defending their Unalienable Rights, is simply the worst form of government imaginable…except for all the others, which are even worse.

    • silver34

      The Bell und Weinberg study gives the statistic of 43% of homosexuals having over 500 sexual partners.

      • Brian A. Cook

         Has that study been distorted? 

        • Thx1

          Not as far as I know. Think about it, ever heard of a “heterosexual bathhouse” instead of “gay bathhouse”? Everyone has heard also of the “gay rest stops”, where homosexuals go for immediate and anonymous sex. Apparently there are even guide maps for homosexuals showing which restrooms to go to at beaches all along the coast where they can meet other homosexuals looking for sexual partners. 

          • Joseph O’Brien

            There are many clubs for heterosexual “swingers”.

    • THX1

      That there are actual maps showing where homosexuals can go along highway rest stops and public toilets along beaches to meet other males to engage in a little instant and anonymous sodomy and that at least one study had some 5% of homosexuals admitting to over 1000 partners rather demonstrates that, yes, sodomy is one of their “gods”. Being hedonistic pagans however, they are also pantheists and are also self-worshippers, believing themselves to posses godlike powers to change reality and morality. Perhaps their third god in their unholy trinity is pride, the very sin that cast Satan into Hell is also something they worship with frenzied fanaticism.

  • Alecto

    The problem is that too many Americans are insufficiently morally attuned.  People laugh at abstinence programs, any attempt to impose standards of any kind on behavior.   Our over-sexed culture is destroying any sense of childlike wonder or innocence and doing it at ever younger ages.   I would think that anyone who suspects he or she might be “gay” ought to take a step back and examine why that might be.  Instead confused children are encouraged to “experiment” with sex, which in and of itself is dangerous since children do not possess fully-developed judgment.  I believe we are inviting tragedy on a level we cannot comprehend.  There is true merit and clarity only in celibacy. 

  • Jlizm

    Someone answer this for me, do adulterers go out and say they are committing adultery or is it done quietly and behind closed doors?  We don’t know who is doing it and I certainly don’t want to know about it then why is it so difficult for alternative lifestyle adults to not realize this. I can’t see where this would be a hate crime.    

  • There is a natural law and a “natural conscience” (sense of right and wrong – what is natural and what is  un-natural), as well as societal norms.  Homosexuals, and I have known many as friends, have a very real sense of shame in practicing their vice. There are only two alternatives; admit ones guilt, confess ones sins, accept ones weakness, try to do better,  and get along with life, or convince the world that vice is virtue and virtue is vice, and continue in ones own self loathing and hatred of the other.

  • Pingback: Why Homosexuals Think they Are Hated | Foundation Life()

  • BPS

    Hombre111 and Brian Cook-
    Please explain the fact that only comparatively recently (the late ’80) did the homosexual movement ‘dis-invite’ NAMBLA , the pedophile organization from it’s gatherings.  Explain homosexuals are attempting to change the age of consent laws, where they have power to do so.  Explain why homosexual pornography is obsessed with youth.  Yes, they ARE coming for your children.  Why not?  Age 18 or 21 as an age of reason and consent is just as arbitrary as saying only people of the opposite sex can marry…

    • Brian A. Cook

      Where do you get those factoids?  

  • John F. Siple

    Yes. This is only for someone with an Open Heart first of all. It may take many years for the fruit of sin and rebellion to be outed from the mind, personality, and behavior, BUT if we seek the Lord God with all our hearts we may find Him. Ask for prayer, seek forgiveness for committed sins, and know the LIVING God loves you with all His heart, and is seeking your return!

  • Docdori

    So what of the Cardinal who recently overturned a priests ruling that a practicing homosexual in a “registered domestic partnership” would not serve on the church council.  How can we say that the very lifestyle of persons with same sex attraction is sinful, and yet allow them to take positions of authority that may affect the life and understanding of the people in the church?

    • bobbylang

              The Cardinal in question is sadly wrong!
              You cannot serve two masters! Why are these prelates NOT defrocked or at least publicly counseled by the people in charge!
              He is producing Scandal!
              How can a reasonably preoccupied population of lay Catholics, survive in this challanging society with a conflicted message from the “supposed” authorities!  

  • My good friend, Father Paul Check, is the head of Courage, the apostolate to minister to men and women burdened with same-sex attraction.  He has, all these years, met and spoken to and comforted and counseled hundreds of people in those straits.

    We ought to keep a couple of things in mind, as I see it:

    1. These people are — or once were — deeply wounded.  They are not primarily responsible for the attraction they feel.

    2. They do understand quite well that the attraction is unnatural.  Hence the wild swings in their “logic,” from the self-justifying (“I’m just this way, and it’s not really different from what a heterosexual feels”) to the deliberate normalizing of more and more bizarre forms of behavior, and more and more unsettled categories.

    3. The men were wounded as boys; they never felt that they were real boys.  That explains the frequent psychological attraction to boys — along with the feeling that finally they will be the one in the “masculine” role.

    4. This attraction to boys is attested in many cultures, and, if you scratch the surface, you can find it in ours as well.  Gay travel agencies specialize in sex-vacations, where boy prostitutes are common.

    5. The men do not understand that their need for male affirmation is something they SHARE with all other men.  In other words, they do not know how SIMILAR they are to other men.

    6. We HAVE to hold our ground on this, for many reasons, not least of which is the protection of boys who are lonely, or self-doubting, or troubled, who might be persuaded that they should try the terrible life that is offered to them by the gays; I am guessing that at least one in ten boys fits this category, and the great majority of them would simply grow out of it in a couple of years if given the safe haven of the expectation of chastity before marriage and natural sexual activity within it.

    7. We have to love them, and at the same time we have to behave charitably towards children, who should not be exposed to adults who want to confuse them.  There should be — for their own protection, to give them space to find their true manhood and womanhood — an unambiguous expectation of chastity.

    • poetcomic1

       I love the poet W.H. Auden.  John Le Carre the novelist was a young student of his at Oxford and Auden asked him right out if  he could perform a very intimate act on him.  Le Carre was stunned and then embarrassed – not for himself but for this man he so admired.  Auden, laughed and shrugged it off “can’t blame me for trying” or something like that.  But it is painful even now to read it.  Making another human being into a physical object of lust and fantasy is not ‘gay’ it is sad, sad, sad.

  • m.s.jones-reilly

    I know a person who is going through sexual reassignment surgery and they are full of hate and anger. I don’t understand what good surgery will do when the inside is so dark.

  • Hate the sinner not the sin is what we are called to …  but the truth is most people are not that nuanced in their behavior. Most LGBT/SSA have faced verbal or physical violence at some point – is it really so hard to understand why many would see teaching that their behavior is a sin – however gently put or kindly intended – as just one more attack?

    • Brian A. Cook

       Thank you for pointing out that certain people really do face hatred and vilification.

  • Chris

    Lust is at the core of habitual sexual sin. Trapped in a pseudo-sexual fantasy world, those who engage in this behavior see the church as a threat to their disodered desire to coninute in it. Ask any sex addict who has been addicted to porn how resentment, fear, pride plays the dominating role, plus Satan’s part in it, demonic obession, that keeps one in bondage.

  • What is so heart breaking about this is how the current administration has tried to mainstream gender identity disorder; thereby denying there is a real mental health issue.  I think about the girl scout decision to allow confused boys into their organization.  Years ago therapists understood these children needed our help….  and now it is becoming politically incorrect as if peer pressure could overturn reality. 

    • Joseph O’Brien

      When a child is born with ambiguous sexual genitalia doctors today do not assign a sex to that child with surgery. They allow the child to mature to make their own decision. This is done because many children who were surgically assigned a sex at birth have suffered the consequences of that decision later in their lives.

  • Thx1

    Of course it is also probable that at least in some cases the hatred they think they are getting is nothing more than them projecting their own deep well of hate, hate of themselves, hate of God, hate of His Holy Church, on their perceived antagonists. 
    But make no mistake about one thing, they are going after children.

  • fondatori

    Accusations of ‘Hate’ in American public life have nothing to do with actual ‘hate’ being expressed by the supposed ‘hater.’  Accusations of ‘hate’ in this country serve the same purpose as denunciations for ‘capitalist’ or ‘imperialist’ activities in the Stalinist USSR.  An accusation of hate is a ritual that has little to do with the accused and much to do with the needs of the accuser (be they political or emotional).

    In both modern America and the mid-century USSR the accused person is expected to immediately agree with the accusation (regardless of facts) and self-accuse.  Following this, the accused must accept punishment and reeducation (for example losing a job or giving money to a left wing shakedown front and attending diversity ‘training’).  Being rehabilitated, it is expected that the accused person, now ‘educated’ out of ‘hate’ will serve the purposes of the accuser and denounce other ‘haters.’Happily, modern America is a much less severe culture than Russia so people here attend seminars that last an afternoon rather than 5-10 years in Siberian work camps.  Of course people can lose jobs and businesses as a result of accusations of ‘hate’ as well, and good luck getting the help of police if you are a known ‘hater’ attacked by anti-hate vigilantes.

    Groups use accusations of hate because its available to them (because ideological friends control media access) and because its actually really effective.  Example: gay marriage – ie the policy of forcing everyone to accept the absurd idea of ‘gay marriage’ – never got anywhere in the polls or culture until gay groups started calling people bigots and accusing them of hate for opposing gay marriage.

    • Brian A. Cook

       Sometimes, “Hate” actually means “Hate.”  I wish I could convince everyone here of that.  Clearly I couldn’t even if I had all the time in the world to bring up all of the evidence.

  • Tmelliottlarr

    I’m a homosexual who has always loved and gotten along great with my father. And I know others like me.  The only “disjunct” between him and me is my homosexuality itself.  How can the disjunct be both cause and effect of the same homosexuality? I say let’s not talk so much about what we understand so little.

    • bobbylang

              Who’s this “WE”?????  
              There are a lot of people who know an awful lot about homosexuality! When they are “muzzled” by “Political Correctness”, how will truth be disseminated?
              When there is so much evidence, the condition, know since the beginning of time, has become such a political “football”,  in  this century!   

  • There are no virtues to being gay and they know it.  As for the constant use of “BIGOTRY”,  EQUALITY, HATEFUL, blah blah blah;  these were the terms given to gays by the “How to convince everyone of anything”  hired agenda advisors and HRC Too many heteros have fallen for this fallacy by being made to feel guilty.   Who picked it up more than the politicians right up to O’bama as a selfish interest  for money and power.    Why do they refuse to believe that marriage is about family of a mother, father and child  not touchy feely state of temporary relief of co-dependency. There is a total difference between “just” friendship” and the gay definition of marriage. Children to not deserve the influence of a “gay” fake family in their maturing years. Outrageous!

    • rikkimuffin

      Families come in many different shapes that function just as well as the seemingly desirable   Mother-Father model. There are studies that indicate children with same-sex parents are just as well adjusted as other children, and in the case of having two mothers even more so. http://tinyurl.com/ccz9vn These families exist, are real and not “fake”.
      When someone is told they are going to Hell because of their identity, I think they might feel just a bit hated. The amount of violence and discrimination that lgbt individuals face is overwhelming and leads many of them (especially teenagers) to suicide and various forms of self-harm. If they way others treat you makes you want to kill yourself, “hatred” may be too light of a word to use.
      It is generally accepted in the scientific community that homosexual is not a choice, but predisposed and reliant on both biological and environmental factors. From an evolutionary and societal stand point, homosexuals provide limitations on the growth of population. This is actually a good thing and provides a sort of safety net for the ecosystem and helps to prevent OVER population. Also, just as with grandmothers who can no longer produce offspring, they provide extra hands that do not have their own offspring to worry about. I truly suggest Googling “why do homosexuals exist” for discussions about the scientific reasoning behind their prevalence, reasons for their existence in societies, all of which are devoid of moralistic reasons (a.k.a. bias, prejudice, close-mindedness). Also, read the wikipedia article. 
      Finally, just because a book written by men tells you something, doesn’t make it true. The bible also seemingly condones rape, violence, slavery, and degradation of  women.  Perhaps your mind may never change about homosexuality being an abomination, but hopefully you can change your attitude to one of love and respect for these individuals that suffer for being who they truly are. Whatever their fate as sinners, that is for God to decide, not you. Let go of your hatred and live a life of peace. <3 

  • bobbylang

          Any aberrant behavior is a “signal” of a problem, or a flaw somewhere in the actor.
          I would suspect that, as Christians, we would be sensitive to that individual.
          Also, one would suspect that to discuss that “signal”, is perfectly logical and reasonable!
          Absolutely NOT so!  No longer, and yes, right here in the U.S.A.!
          There was recent legislation, which includes all sorts of behavioral “flaws” (homosexuality, pedophilia, bestiality), enacted, “in the dead of night”, that now gives any individual, claiming to be a practitioner, (or otherwise), a unique power! A power and the “right” to have any one discussing said “activity”, placed in a Federal prison!
          The “activities”,  have now become “protected”!    
          All anyone has to do, is claim they are “offended” by any dialogue, regardless of it’s intention or actual innocence, and they have cause!
          With that act, the U.S.,  has destroyed the God given concepts of “Freedom of  Speech”, and “Freedom of Religion”, and has lowered itself to the level of the Dominion of Canada, Iran, China, Russia, etc..
          This is despicable, and tragic, to see these fundamental “rights”, trodden under the foot of progressive, politically correct, hypocrisy!
           Oh! By the way, where was the media discussion on that “little” episode?
           God save this fair country!! 

  • Pingback: Por que os gays se sentem odiados por todo mundo? « Sentinela no escuro()

  • gwen

    I am sorry/I am devoutly Catholic and my son is gay/I read this article totally and I don’t agree, don’t get this at all. I don’t believe this at all. Whoever wrote this does not know what they are talking about/especially in lumpign all gays together-sayign they are all alike, espeically in talkign about why they are hated, if they are hated/ unless you yoruself are discriminated against-you can’t talk

  • This is right out of Nicolosi’s book. This “research” has  NEVER been published in a scientific journal and subjected to peer review. It is crackpottery. Over centuries the Church has taught many things that have turned out to be incorrect. Apparently Mr. O’Leary is unaware that the one scientist who made claims of reorientation theory – Robert Spitzer – has now concluded that he was wrong.

    I am a retired CEO. My late partner and I were together over 30 years. I have little to complain about. However, this preposterous message goes out to vulnerable gay children who do not have my ego strengths. Shame on you, Mr. O’Leary!

  • Pingback: Why (Some) Straight People Think Gay People Think Straight People Hate Us | The New Civil Rights Movement()

  • Sarah

    Whether you believe that various sexualities are based on some sort of emotional wound as a child, or not, what difference does that make? The bible’s overwhelming message is LOVE. Love your fellow man, no matter what their situation is.  You don’t need to judge them or “help” them or any of that. That’s God’s job – not yours.

    That said, you are horribly in error on almost every point you’ve made. Either through gross oversimplifying or age old stereotyping or just plain nonfactual  statements. You’ve not sited any sources in your article. That ALONE is telling. Can you please site your sources?

    So to set the record straight:

    The Churches teachings are their own business. Unless the LGBT person is a Catholic, the Church has nothing to do with them.
    I am unaware of any activist group petitioning the Church to change any dogma.

    ” Research shows that homosexuality is an example of normal variation in human sexuality and is not in and of itself a source of negative psychological effects.[1] Prejudice and discrimination against homosexual and bisexual people, however, have been shown to cause psychological harm.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_sex_attraction

    Why does the LGBT community think they’re hated? We don’t. Except by those ignorant or bigoted that individuals that clearly do.

  • usorthem3

    The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it because they think no one would lie that much. 
    I was not molested, I am not a mutant in need of a cure, I am a gay man, period. I have no love for my “Christian” father who beat my mother, burned a build to the ground,  shot someone in front of his 13 yr old son, &  physically harassed his only family that merely wanted to be left alone, perfect Christian role model huh? I have read the Bible and it made an atheist of me from understanding it’s promotion of murder, rape, cruelty, enslavement, violence towards women, death to all that do not believe in Christianity. 2 Chronicles 15 13  “Hate the sin, not the sinner” is simply a way to justify promoting physical violence against gay people because the Bible & God say they should be stoned to death.

  • “It doesn’t matter how gently the words are spoken or how carefully the message is phrased, the GLBT activists only hear “hate.””

    When you preach that we’re “intrinsically disordered”, claim that we’re destroying society and strive to keep us from having rights you have, what else would you call it besides hate? 

    “Although there is no one cause for same-sex attraction (SSA), in many
    instances it can be linked to childhood gender identity disorder…Very often the child’s relationship with the father was seriously deficient….”

    Junk “science”. 

    “persons with SSA are wounded men and women”

    Wounded by the bigotry and intolerance of people like yourself, who think they have the right to impose their chosen religious lifestyle on everyone.   

    You have the right to believe whatever you want about LGBT people and everyone else.  What you don’t have the right to do is demand others live according to your beliefs by legislating your beliefs on others.   You demand religious liberty, why do you deny it to others?

    • DrewTwoFish

      This is the most succinct and cogent response I’ve heard to this pile of rubbish from O’ Leary.

  • Andiron

    Most homosexuals of a certain age think they are hated because it has been their experience that they are.  Remember, it is individuals and society who defined homosexuality as being that perversion which was beyond redemption.  When I was 14 I heard my Mom say, “If my son was a queer, I’d kill him.”  At that time, all of us received virtually the same message:  “This thing you have defines you as being outside the circle of humanity; you’re nothing.  Because of this, you deserve nothing but contempt and death.”  We received that message from our families, from our friends, CERTAINLY from our churches, from virtually everyone in our lives.  We grew up surrounded by people who, albeit unknowingly, defined us by that one aspect of desire, and thereby excluded us from humanity.  Mr. O’Leary, we think we are hated because we know we are.  We grew up secretly defining ourselves by that one aspect of our lives because everyone else behaved as though it was the most, no, the ONLY important thing about us.  It’s no wonder that, with the added fuel of sexual attraction, young gay men RAN  into the arms of the gay community.  Even lust, disguised as love is better than what you people offered.  While some of us do try and live chaste lives, we do so alone.  We know that even those who share our belief are not to be trusted as friends who can help us.  Not now, not ever.  So the next time you want to write on this subject, which seems to be an important issue for you, try talking to some of us, instead of trying to make reality fit that hobby-horse, pseudo-sociology, you seem so intent on riding.  Be ashamed Mr. O’Leary.

  • dfadfa

    This is bullshit. Fuck whoever wrote this. You deserve to rot in hell.

  • Pingback: [FH] Por que os gays se sentem odiados por todo mundo? | Courage Brasil()

  • Your argument fails due to the fact that research demonstrates that genetics is a cause of homosexuality.

  • Is it possible in your view for someone to disagree with you – to believe that the Bible consistently teaches sexual activity is intended for heterosexual marriage only – and for that person to not be a bigot or homophobic, motivated by ignorance or fear?

    Absolutely! Some of my best friends disagree with me on this issue. I recognize that we are all fallible human beings, which means that either (or both) of us could be wrong, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t sincerely trying to seek the truth.

    There are bigots who use religious language to justify their hatred, but that doesn’t mean that anyone who has a view I disagree with is a bigot. There are also many compassionate, loving Christians who sincerely want to be able to give their blessing to their gay friends’ relationships but are unable to because they believe the Bible forbids those relationships. I absolutely respect that.

    Those who are seeking the truth are willing to consider new information such as Matthew Vines’ presentation about homosexuality and the Bible. http://www.matthewvines.com

    G.K. Chesterton said that bigotry is “an incapacity to conceive seriously the alternative to a proposition.”

    • DrewTwoFish

      Fine. Politely disagree but stop lobbying for laws that keep LGBTs as second class citizens.

  • Joseph O’Brien

    Pope Benedict XVI? Is that the the same Pope Benedict XVI who allowed priests to continue to rape children?