Does it Get Better? The Lies of Pro-Gay Education

The outrage over Dan’s Savage’s profanity laced lecture at a conference for high school journalism students has focused on his frontal attack on the Bible. This has diverted attention from Savage’s objective: promoting his “It gets better,” campaign, the purpose of which is to encourage confused and troubled teenagers to ‘come out’ and experiment with homosexuality.

Christians may be upset, but this hardly bothers Savage who is achieving his objective. His anti-Bible rants appeal to his target audience. He undermines the students’ faith, validates their rebellion against parents, and encourages sexual promiscuity. The raucous applause from the students who didn’t walk out shows that Savage’s remarks had the desired effect. Unfortunately, defending the scriptural prescriptions against homosexuality will only reinforce Savage’s message that Christians are anti-sex and that being gay or pro-gay is cool.

For decades, the gay activists and their allies have been engaged in a systematic campaign to get their propaganda into schools. First, they used parents’ fear of teen pregnancy to push for comprehensive sex education, which turned out to be pro-gay education. Then they used the AIDS epidemic to push pro-gay ‘safe-sex’ education. Now they are using bullying to launch a frontal attack on religion and push a pro-gay agenda. Dan Savage’s rant has only made explicit what has been implicit in pro-gay education from the beginning, namely that it is stridently anti-Christian.

Pro-gay education is based on fabrications and lies. For example, in spite of claims that persons with same-sex attraction (SSA) are ‘born that way’ and can’t change, there is no scientific evidence that to back up these assertions,[1] and plenty of evidence that SSA is rooted in early negative experiences[2] and that change is possible.[3] Many teenagers who think they might be “gay” discover later they aren’t.[4]

While Savage tells vulnerable teens experiencing SSA that “It gets better,” there is substantial, uncontroverted evidence that it doesn’t, and it could get a lot worse. Encouraging adolescent males to engage in sex with other men is a prescription for disaster. Sexually transmitted diseases are rampant in the gay community. Since 1981, 300,000 MSM have died of AIDS, and 6,000 are expected to die this year and every year for the foreseeable future. According to the CDC, in 2008, 17,940 MSM were diagnosed with HIV infections, an increase of 17% from 2005. MSM accounted for 53% of all new infections. MSM are 44 to 86 times more likely to be diagnosed HIV positive than men who don’t.[5] In addition 65 percent of all new cases of syphilis were found in MSM, although MSM make up less than 2% of the population. MSM are more likely to contract cancer, particularly Human Papillomavirus caused anal and oral cancer; more likely to contract antibiotic resistant gonorrhea[6], and a host of other exotic sexually transmitted diseases.

Gay positive ‘safe sex’ education has failed. Adolescent MSM may promise themselves to always use a condom, but study after study reveals that very few MSM keep that promise.[7] They suffer from ‘condom fatigue.’ They have sex when they are drunk or high. In the heat of passion they lie about their HIV status. They don’t get tested when they know they are at risk.  The younger a man is when he begins to have sex with men the greater the risk he will become infected.[8]

The AIDS epidemic didn’t randomly strike the gay community. There was an epidemic of STDs among MSM before AIDS appeared. And those dealing with the pre-AIDS STD epidemic among MSM foresaw that the introduction of a new lethal pathogen would be disastrous. Tragically, they were right. What is worse, after the AIDS epidemic started, gay activists successfully sabotaged standard public health measures for control of STDS. They were more interested in preserving their sexual revolution, than saving lives. The history of the disaster was laid out by Randy Shilts (who died of the AIDS) in his book And the Band Played On.

And disease is not the only risk, boys who enter the gay scene are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, particularly crystal meth,[9] more likely to engage in prostitution or be victims of domestic violence.

The geeky, awkward adolescent, who thinks that coming out as gay will provide instant acceptance, will quickly discover that among gay men physical beauty is highly prized. In the sex crazed world of circuit parties and anonymous hook ups that characterizes gay life, the unattractive — even the just average — face repeated rejection.

And even the beautiful ones grow old. Consider the story of Bob Bergeron a handsome gay New York therapist, who according to his friends had it all. He had just finished a book designed to provide positive advice to older gay men, The Right Side of Forty: The Complete Guide to Happiness for Gay Men at Midlife and Beyond.  However, in January of this year a friend found him with a plastic bag over his head. He had been dead several days. His suicide note was written on the title page of his book. An arrow pointed to the name of the book, followed by the words: “It’s a lie based on bad information.” Unfortunately Bergson’s suicide is not an aberration. Gay and bisexual men are three times more likely to attempt suicide.[10]

Given the health consequences alone, pro-gay education presents an unacceptable risk —  a risk far greater than the problems it pretends to address – and its advocates – like Dan Savage – shouldn’t be allowed within a hundred yards of school. A pro-smoking or pro-pedophilia advocate would pose less danger.


[1] Michael Bailey et al. (2000) “Genetic and Environmental Influences on Sexual Orientation and its Correlates in an Australian Twins Sample,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, March, 78 (3) 524-536;

John de Cecco, David Parker (ed), Sex, Cells, and Same-Sex Desire: The Biology of Sexual Preference, (Harrington Park Press: NY, 1995).

B.S. Mustanski, et al. “A genome wide scan of male sexual orientation,” Human Genetics, 116, 4 (2005): 272-278.

[2] Kenneth Zucker, Susan Bradley, (Gender Identity Disorder and Psychosexual Problems in Childhood and Adolescence (Guilford: NY, 1995); George A Rekers, (1995)  Gender Identity Disorder, (George Rekers, Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexual Problems (Lexington/Jossey-Bass/Simon & Schuster); Susan Bradley, Kenneth Zucker (1998) “Drs. Bradley and Zucker reply,” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 37 (3) p. 244-245.

[3] Robert Spitzer, (2006) “Can Some Gay Men and Lesbians Change Their Sexual Orientation? 200 Participants Reporting a Change from Homosexual to Heterosexual Orientation,” (in J. Frescher, K. Zucker, eds., Ex-Gay research: Analyzing the Spitzer Study and Its Relation to Science, Religion, Politics, and Culture, Harrington House; NY) p. 35-66;

StantonJones, Mark Yarhouse, (2007) Ex-Gays’ A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation,(Intervarsity Press:Downers   GroveIL).

[4] Edward Lauman et al. (1994) The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in theUnited States, (Chicago:University ofChicago);

K. K. Kinnish, et al. (2005). “Sexual Differences in the Flexibility of Sexual Orientation: A Multidimensional Retrospective Assessment,” Archives of Sexual Behavior, 34 (2), 173-83;

Nigel Dickson, et al. (2003) “Same-sex attraction in a birth cohort: prevalence and persistence in early adulthood, Social Science & Medicine, 56, p. 1607-1615.

[5] CDC, “HIV among gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men (MSM),” (Sept. 2010).

[6] Binh An Diep et al. (2008) “Emergence of Multidrug-Resistant, Community Associated, Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus aureus Clone USA300 in men who have sex with men,”  Annals of Internal Medicine,  148 (4)

[7] David Ostrow, et al (1994) “Sexual Behavior research on a cohort of gay men 1984-1990: Can we predict how men will respond to interventions”, Archives of Sexual Behavior, 23, 5: 531-552.

[8] Richard Stall, et al. (2003) “Association of Co-Occurring Psychosocial Health Problems and Increased Vulnerability to HIV/AIDS among Urban Men who Sex with Men,” American Journal Of Public Health,  93 (6) p. 939-942;

R. Hogg, et al. (1997) “Modeling the impact of HIV disease on mortality in gay and bisexual men,”  International Journal of Epidemiology, 26 (3) p.657-661;

J. Diggs, (2002) “Health Risks of Gay Sex” Corporate Research Council, (480) 444-0030;

M. Xiridou, (2003) “The contribution of steady and casual partnerships to the incidence of HIV infection among homosexual men in Amsterdam,” AIDS 17, 7 1029-1038:

Gabriel Rotello (1997) Sexual Ecology: AIDS and the Destiny of Gay Men,  Dutton: NY.

[9] Milton Wainberg et al, ((2006) Crystal Meth and Men who Have Sex with Men: What mental health care professionals need to know,  Haworth Medical Press, NY;

[10] Jay P. Paul, et al, “Suicide Attempts among Gay and Bisexual Men: Lifetime Prevalence and Antecedents,” American Journal of Public Health,  92 (August 2002), p. 1338.

Dale O'Leary


Dale O’Leary is the author of The Gender Agenda and One Man, One Woman. Her blog can be found at

  • Ed Hopkins

    Good article, sobering facts, but what is “MSM?”

    • Paul

      Men who have sex with men.

      FYI Reasonable Opinion: Pretty sure Dale is a woman.

    • JimBeam

      So what do the problems that gay men have have to do with lesbians?

      This article points out the problems that MSMs have, and then tries to apply it to all same sex relationships. Lesbians are nothing like gay men. In fact, they are rather boring, even by heterosexual standards.

      • Demelza K

        Oh honey, trust me! Lesbians are not boring! The things they can do with there tongues… 😉

  • Reasonable_Opinion

    Outstanding–as usual–from Mr. O’Leary. One suggestion as an action item would be to help support and spread the message of the Catholic Church’s approved apostolate to men and women with SSA: Courage International

    Functioning as something of a “12 Step Program” for people with SSA, Courage chapters promise anonymity while offering support and fellowship for members who desire a pure lifestyle–the alternative to either engaging in the gay lifestyle, or isolation. The Courage web site also provides many more details expanding upon what Mr. O’Leary speaks of here.

  • Paul Tran

    The article is a real eye-opener. As a Catholic I am compelled to feel sorry about the state of things to come and particularly our educational system. As much as I am opposed to homosexuality, the gay community is still made up of individuals who suffer from misguidance and have been misled by the liberal agenda.

  • Gail Finke

    Thanks for focusing on the “It Gets Better” campaign rather than the rotten lecture. The campaign, apparently, works. It makes kids feel cool and accepting/accepted. Like many people I was not aware of it until the Google commercial last year — which showed people using Google to post videos saying “It gets better.” Many of the people were famous and one of them was even beloved animated Disney character “Woody” (where heck was the vaunted Disney PR team on that one — using a character named WOODY for something regarding sex????). Who is THAT aimed at, six-year-olds???

  • poetcomic1

    Aging homosexual males can often find stable deep friendship relationships with others like themselves to ward off loneliness and having no children and often two incomes they can afford to enrich a generation of attractive young males to have sex with them and so there is a ‘beautiful’ continuity of older generations and younger generations interacting….. for CASH.   This is the norm. The aging homosexual boomer has a ‘vested interest’ in keeping the ‘meat market’ fresh.

       Dan Savage’s sex advice column began in and is mostly found in big city weekly newspapers that are given away free (The Village Voice is granddaddy of them all).  These weeklies MAIN source of income now  is ads for ‘escorts’ (i.e. prostitutes) of every sex and of some sexes you probably never heard of.  He is quite simply employed by pimps.

  • Tiredofthechickenlittles

    The cocoon that the Church continues to hide in is being assailed, that much is true. 

    Because there has always been a portion of the population that identify as LGBT, i.e different than the vast majority of us…they have and always will be treated differently.  This is normal human behavior.

    Oh well.  Those who are in this campaign at least have circled the wagons a bit and have offered some help from others who can tell them, “hang in there…it gets better.”  They are not being lied does get better, for quite a few people. There are far more straight people out there getting escorts and screwing around than there are gay.   Pointing out one group’s failings when it comes to human dignity does not mean they are fundamentally flawed. 

    Ther problem as I see it is:  You cant just talk to the church folk who sit steeped in guilt and never let go of shame. Shame keeps millions of Catholics bound from the grace of dignity they deserve to know and cherish about themselves.  Straight and gay alike. 

    Far too many people who are rightfully attracted to the saving message of Jesus are kept in a state of perpetual shame rather than validated and loved for who they are.  Anyone who has worked in the Church for a while will tell you that we attract a lot of unhealthy people.  Christ came to heal people of their shame, not stand constantly comdemning.  Gay people are NOT wrong, and their actions are not wrong if they are seeking true, dignified, loving relationships.

     The Catholic church has many beautiful and useful teaching about sexuality, but they are not all exhaustive, nor absolutely correct.  The teachings will change over time, and eventually they willl come to a deeper understanding about Human sexuality. Nuance and complexity are everywhere, and while I do appreciate much of the spirit of the Church’s teachings, I really am saddened by the actual members in the “faithful” who absolutely refuse to think outside the box on this issue.  Time will certainly be on the side of those who say, it gets better.  It HAS and continues to get better.

    The church still cannot adequately deal with sex abusers within their own ranks, and there are FAR too many apologistst in the cocoon, ready to fire back defenses, rather than admit that  change and research, thought and conversations need to happen that can deepen our nascent understanding of human sexuality. 

    • J G

       The problem is not too much shame. The problem is too little shame. No one feels shame at sexual perversion anymore. Homosexual acts are never true, dignified, or loving. If one feels shame over them it is a sign that something is wrong and should be repented of. Catholic teaching will not change. Divine law is a constant. It is up to us to conform to God’s will not try to force him to conform to ours. Judas missed that lesson and look where it got him.

    • A.W.

      Although I agree with you we should love ‘gay’ men and women, and treat them as human beings ought to be treated, we by no means should promote their lifestyle.  We should draw them into the Church, with love and compassion, and try to teach them, and help them in their trials.  Plenty of men and women have SSA, that doesn’t mean that there is a need for them to commit sexual, or lustful acts.  Straight people can be virgins as well as gay, although in this culture, it seems almost a crime to be a virgin.

      The problem with what you are saying is you are taking the “world’s” view.  I highly recommend you, and all, to look into the Church’s real doctrines, and the beauty behind them.  Then ask yourself this question, do you believe what you believe because it is what is algined with you and what you want to believe?  Or because you are honestly seeking the complete and whole truth with open eyes, now matter how harsh it may be?  That is a question all Christians should ask themselves in their beliefs. 

      The Church will NEVER, condone same sex acts.  It is fundamentally against who it is and what it represents.  It IS MORALLY wrong, it is not something up for debate.  Sex without being open to procreation and the true meaning and purpose behind sex is a missuse, and homosexual acts can only have the wrong purposes behind them.

    • justamom

      When the Church started to “admit that  change and research, thought and conversations need to happen that can deepen our nascent understanding of human sexuality. ” was the beginning of the whole sex abuse scandal!
      I think your understanding of the Church’s teachings is flawed. It’s not about “thinking outside the box” it is about listening to the guidance of the Holy Spirit! The Church’s (which are God’s) teachings on human sexuality have not changed. Man’s teachings change all the time, though, that is true. We as Christians need to discern what is God’s and what is man’s – that is where the Church comes in – to help discern that and teach the Truth.

      Explain to me how it is better to be attracted to someone of the same sex than someone of the opposite sex? Are you saying people would choose that lifestyle purposely?

      “Gay people are NOT wrong, and their actions are not wrong if they are seeking true, dignified, loving relationships.”
      I agree that  people with SSA have the same dignity as every other person created by God. There is nothing about them that makes them any worse than any other of us sinners. BUT, an action (like homosexual behavior) CAN be wrong even if they are seeking “true, dignified, loving relationships” while doing it. Furthermore, a homosexual act cannot be a “true” or”dignified” because it goes against that very dignity God bestowed on it – in the words of Pope John Paul II it is not “free, total , faithful AND fruitful” which is how God intended sex to be.

      • Tiredofthechickenlittles

        There are many non-fruitful marriages. Many. Gay marriages can thus join the ranks of the sacrament ally wed. It is simply a matter of time.

        To Bob, no, I am not gay, but I do know many happy, “fruitful” gay people.

        To mark: I am not rich.

        • justamom

          They may not be fruitful, but the possibility is always there – (even in seemingly sterile couples) to make a new life – this is impossible within the sexual acts of homosexuals.

          There may be many “happy, fruitful” gay people, but this has nothing to do with their sex life with each other.

          And honestly – don’t you know many gay couples who do not practice monogamy (faithful), nor would they want this for their relationship as a rule. Ask Dan Savage about that.

        • Paul Tran

          Whatever happened to the separation between the state & the church ? Why would homosexuals want to join the ranks of the sacrament as it’s the sole domain of the church ? What’s wrong with civil-partnership ? In practise, “civil-partnership” is accorded the same constitutional rights as “marriage”, sounds like the state hemming religion into a corner.

        • Bob

          Have you thoroughly studied the Catholic teachings on homosexuality? The Church’s teachings on purity and chastity? How about the Church’s teachings on why marriage is between one man and one woman? The theology of the body? Natural law? Christian anthropology and the nature of sin? Quite frankly, i dont believe you have. These would all be good places to start, chicken little. Be open minded……dedicate several hours a week to studying why the Church teaches what it does. Then come back in August and let us know your opinion then. It seems you like to post on Catholic websites, but actually from what I see you have an extremely rudimentary (or even false) knowledge of Catholic teaching.

    • Mark

       Rich, is that you?

    • Bob

      You sound through all of your postings chicken little that you are a homosexual that wants to attack the Church because it’s teachings are against the gay lifestyle you wish to choose (or have chosen.) Am I correct or incorrect?

  • hombre111

    Not a bad article, but the author needs to dialogue with some thoughtful responsible gay people.  I would suggest a friend of mine named David Kundtz, author of an itneresting book called “Ministering to God’s Queer Folk.” 

  • J G

    I have never met a homosexual who was truly happy living the gay lifestyle. Ever. 

    • Demelza K

      You probably wouldnt be happy either if you didn’t have the same civil rights as everyone else. Imagine your favourite colour was green, and then they found a scripture saying people who like green or wear green will go to hell, and they made everything green illegal. Seems like a fairly ridiculous reason to make green illegal if you ask me…

  • I know from infectious disease specialists that MSM is, by its very nature, exceedingly dangerous.  Consider the regular introduction of bacteria-ridden waste into the blood stream.  There’s a good reason why that area of the body is rich in capillaries and veins, to protect the system; but when that is regularly breached — violently and unnaturally so — the body is in danger; hepatitis is apparently rampant among MSM.  It is not a healthy life. 

    And if “it gets better” for people like Savage, why is he so constantly vile?  Why is he filled with hatred? 

    • Andiron Andiron

      And if “it gets better” for people like Savage, why is he so constantly vile?  Why is he filled with hatred?”

      People live out the lessons they have been taught.  As an instructor, I would have thought you acutely aware of that fact.

  • A secular homosexual man who is honest and who genuinely cares for the welfare of children should say, “Folks, if you are curious about this way of life, forget it, put it right out of your minds.  It’s not something you should choose.  If you are at all attracted to girls, stay with that.  What we do gives us  pleasure, but it is not good for the body.”

  • JediWonk

    It is my understanding that using functional nuclear magnetic resonance imaging (fNMRI), researchers can tell you if the brain they are imaging is male or female, and also distinguish between gay male and straight male brains.  These findings make intuitive sense to me (a layman in these matters, but ask me anything about cybersecurity)
    because my reading of recent scientific studies of male homosexuality is that it
    conforms to the Cochran Hypothesis.  That is, as a “big” (more than
    1/1000), “old” (has been observed for 1000s of years), highly
    reproductive-fitness-impairing condition, it’s root cause has to be a
    pathogen of some type.  (Note that the root cause of schizophrenia has been identified as toxoplasma gondii, a pathogen carried by cats.  Not being interested in women sexually has to be at least as reproductively disabling.)  It can’t be genetic because it would have selected out of the gene pool millennia ago, though, of course, susceptibility to a pathogen can have a genetic component.

    C’mon guys.  Do any of you remember *choosing* your sexual orientation?  If so, why in the world would any male “choose” the big, hairy, ugly gender?  Looking in my full-length mirror after a shower, females’ interest in each other makes complete sense to me.  Have sex with something that looks like me?  “Yuck!”.

    A month past his 4th birthday, my now-13-year-old son made his first fully-adult pass at a lady 30 years his senior who happened to be the first “professional” beauty he had met.  (She was the star of a Broadway musical.)  Within 60 seconds of meeting her he asked her if he could sleep with her in her bed that night!  I would be very interested in a description of an environmental mishap that could change such an obviously strong orientation towards the fair sex that appeared so young.  (By the way, my toddler got an immediate and enthusiastic “yes!” from that fair maiden, and they were quite the “item” until he turned 7 and decided that all females have “cooties”.)

    But if there *was* a way to get males to *choose* to only be interested in other males, it would not be without its uses.  When the first time this topic came up in middle school, my son participated in the usual early-teen shaming/disapproving male conversation about male gayness until I patiently explained to him that every other male on the planet save him being gay would be a “want” for him, because he would then have no competition for the attentions of females.  After initially being boggled by my contrarian thinking, his eyes brightened and he exclaimed, “Wow, cool!”

    Unfortunately for this strategy, sexual orientation in males seems to be set in stone by the time right-handed vs. left-handed is baked in. But if anyone truly knows how to achieve the opposite of “reparative therapy”, please let me know so I can pass it on to my son and his fellow future male sexual predators of America!  (I will teach my daughter that all males must be assumed to be sexual predators, just some have better manners than others.)

    As for female-on-female sex, I recall a conversation I had with Sen. Tom Coburn, M.D. which was supposed to be about health care reform *reform*, but the good senator first went off on a riff about how back in Oklahoma high school girls were having sex with other high school girls in their institutions’ ladies room.  My now 8-year-old daughter had just been born and my first thought is that such misbehavior with girls is a lot less dangerous than the equivalent behavior with boys! 

    Circa 1700 in colonial America the typical age of puberty was 18 for girls and that was also the age of marriage.  I have a west-coast professional colleague who had her first period just after her ninth birthday and described herself as being “on fire” by her 12th birthday.  The fact that she was so heterosexual (she says she only started developing an interest in other women in her early 30s) caused a great deal of trouble in her young life because (she says) by 13 no one would have doubted her assertion that she was 19 (5′-9″ tall and fully equipped as a woman).

    Anyway, the fNMRI studies reveal that to the limits of the resolution of the study, all female brains are equally aroused by heteroerotica and homoerotica.  (While there obviously are truly bisexual males in our society, the equivalent study on men was too small to find any–the arousal centers of the brains studied lit up for either heteroerotica or homoerotica, never both.)  So at least one could say females have a “choice” without doing violence to language.

    Of course, for a First World nation, male homosexuality is just another assortative mating criteria that makes our sex ratio skew worse (too many marriageable females, too few marriageable males).  In my mid-30s (so 30 years ago now) when I lived in Los Angeles, I took up a hobby that led to my having a body so extremely athletic in appearance that I learned only years later when I married that everyone I met automatically assumed I was gay.  No wonder I never had dates when I lived in Los Angeles, even though my hobby was a close-contact physical sport done with beautiful young women who were wearing almost no clothes!  The only exception were gay males themselves, where even in locker rooms where I was the only straight guy, they never expressed the slightest interest.  But, in retrospect, I was not offended by being considered homosexual, I just wished someone had mentioned it back then so I could have had t-shirts made that said, “I Really Am Straight, I Just Work Out Too Much.”

  • Andiron Andiron

    This article falsely implies that the “it gets better” campaign is an attempt to encourage coming out and putting out.  Bullshit.  That Is A Lie that Dale O’Leary tells.  The campaign was initiated in response to the suicides of a number of adolescents and young adults who had been harassed for being gay.   Dan Savage, not normally the soul of moderation, did something good and decent for a change.   The fact that so very many  are willing to embrace Dale O’Leary’s lie about the campaign so that they can continue to think evil of Mr. Savage is truly sickening.  

    • justamom

      Ms. O’Leary is not lying about the campaign – Mr. Savage has his agenda behind it, he is not doing this altruistically. The more homosexually active people in the world, the better, according to him. People may think badly about Mr. Savage because if the things he SAYS and does (have you read his “advice” column???)- although I doubt it is because he is evil, just totally gone on the sexual left lifestyle. 

      • Andiron Andiron

        Do you have any evidence that the campaign is what you and O’Leary say it is?

      • Andiron Andiron

        Still waiting justamom.  

  • Seriously?

    “the purpose of which is to encourage confused and troubled teenagers to ‘come out’ and experiment with homosexuality.”

    Not true. It’s to encourage kids not to commit suicide because of their sexual orientation.