“I don’t have the muscle memory.”

So, this guy Kenny “K-Strass” Strasser has been taking his mad yo yo skillz* on a moderately-sized whirlwind tour of TV stations around the midwest. 

The only problem with his act is that it goes like this:

 “I . . . I don’t have the muscle memory.”  Nice job by the host, though.  He really earns his paycheck on this broadcast. 

I really hope Strasser doesn’t have a Larger Point in perpetrating this fairly elaborate hoax, unless it’s that yo yos are stupid.  Okay, maybe they’re enjoyable to play with, but there is nothing more tedious (and I speak as someone who has spent the last three days checking eight very hairy children for louse nits) than watching some hunchy guy with downcast eyes whip a yo-yo around in various tricky, tricky ways. 

I mean, the fancier the stunts get, the less there is to see.  I guess there’s a little suspense involved when it seems like, uh-oh, maybe the string’s gonna get tangled up this time!  Oh, wait, nope, it didn’t.  Boy, look at that string.  Up and over!  He sure can handle that string. 

Yes yes, I know it takes lots of skill and untold hours of practice to achieve a really star-class yo yo routine.   All I can say is, you should see me handle the LiceMeister 2000 with removable teeth and integrated magnifying glass!  Some tip-top talent there.   And yet, I do not take this act on stage.

Oops, I see that Jim Treacher has picked up this peculiar little story, and adds this tidbit:

“Lisa Malak, who anchors the ‘Sunday Morning’ show on WFRV in Green Bay, thought it would be fun to book somebody who said he was a yo-yo champion. When Strasser showed up April 11, he said he forgot the string for his yo-yo.” And they put him on the air anyway! Plus, he claims to own the “world’s first ‘green’ toy company,” so no wonder these brainiacs couldn’t wait to talk to him.
At the bottom of Treacher’s story,  he ads a video of a guy who is actually good at using a yo yo.  So you will see what I mean. 

 *I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that with the z like that.


Simcha Fisher is a cradle Hebrew Catholic, freelance writer, and mother of eight young kids. She received her BA in literature from Thomas More College in New Hampshire. She contributes to Crisis Magazine and Faith & Family Live!, and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She is sort of writing a book.

Join the conversation in our Telegram Chat! You can also find us on Facebook, MeWe, Twitter, and Gab.