Fisking the Declaration of Independence

Happy Day after Independence Day! Things might be a little slow around here today, as we all emerge from our hot dog hangovers; meanwhile, here’s a little thought experiment that should make us glad there were no blogs in 1776. James Joyner imagines how the Declaration of Independence would have been received… by bloggers:

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

Dude: We’re colonies of the United Kingdom, not “States.” The UK is a State; Virginia is a trading outpost.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

I think we’re supposed to be listing separate and distinct grievances here, gents. This is essentially the first one over again.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

That’s pretty much the same one again, too. And, really, who likes activist judges anyway?

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

You’re probably the same people who complain about long lines at the Department of Horse-drawn Vehicles, too.

Don’t even get them started on the Constitution. [H/t Radley Balko]



Margaret Cabaniss is the former managing editor of Crisis Magazine. She joined Crisis in 2002 after graduating from the University of the South with a degree in English Literature and currently lives in Baltimore, Maryland. She now blogs at

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