Babies can change anyone

This piece in Salon caught my attention yesterday. It’s written by an admittedly un-maternal woman who gives thanks for not getting her tubes tied. She didn’t want children and then surprisingly found herself pregnant and happily parenting. She lists a number of reasons why she and her partner had their son:

We decided to have this baby because I couldn’t go through the grief of another termination. We decided to have it because my partner’s father died and the sense of mortality transformed from a needle falling on glass to a gong. We decided to have this baby because I went to see the first ultrasound at 12 weeks, and they made me listen to the heartbeat, and they said “baby” as if the primordial blob was one, a baby, indeed. We decided to have this baby because my partner secretly changed his mind after watching a friend of his adopt a daughter.

I’m not sure how anyone with a brain reaches adulthood without knowing that a tiny human with a heartbeat is not a primordial blob. That said, the article is a perfect illustration about how a little, helpless blob of a person can wonderfully change the most non-parental, self-centered, dog-preferring couple.

Babies are life-changers — pretty much for the better. ‘Tis the season to remember it.

Zoe Romanowsky


Zoe Romanowsky is writer, consultant, and coach. Her articles have appeared in "Catholic Digest," "Faith & Family," "National Catholic Register," "Our Sunday Visitor," "Urbanite," "Baltimore Eats," and Zo

  • Kathryn

    For those of us who are relatively high on the visually oriented scale, if we don’t see it, it just might not be there…or a baby may not be a baby until we see it. It’s a fish. Or a blob.

    I was in my mid-twenties before I had my eyes opened. Granted, these days (and even then) I am not sure how many twenty somethings are really all that “adult,” but still. I am eternally grateful I had my eyes opened before I did anything really, really stupid.

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  • Laura Reilly

    “…I couldn’t go through with the grief of another termination.” Is there any doubt that natural law is written on our hearts, elsewise what “grief” might this female be describing – surely not the grief of losing a “blob” – perhaps the “grief” of having her pocketbook drained a bit from yet another abortion?

    Every woman knows in the core of her being she, when pregnant, carries a child, however brashly mainstream feminists demand that we harden our hearts and minds to parrot that our children are simply “blobs.”

    Ladies, when are we going to start thinking for ourselves? Practice self-mastery. Demand dignity for ourselves and our society, each and every one of us at all ages!

  • Marjorie Murphy Campbell

    It IS hard to understand how “anyone with a brain reaches adulthood without knowing” that an abortion kills a human being. But, first, there was a generation of women who embraced the abortions they did not have (and the babies they did have) as the reason for their “inequality” with men – and marketed abortion as a simple procedure which eliminated unwanted “tissue”, like a root canal of sorts. There followed a generation of girls and young women who were sold the product and purpose and invested. Those women, many of whom had multiple abortions, long to validate what they did … I’ve heard a wide range of “explanations” from women of my generation explaining to young women why an “abortion” is “not killing” and they range from lies to bizarre. My favorite is “it’s like a little lightbulb you decide not to turn on.” As Laura and Kathryn point out, the rhetoric simply does not work over time. And it fails completely when women take charge of the dialogue and what “equality” actually means. thanks for the post.