“You’ll be the prince,
and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story
Baby, just say yes.”
– Taylor Swift, “Love Story”
Doesn’t everyone love a good love story? Maybe not.
At the feminist blog Feministing, commenter Chloe recently confessed that she enjoys listening to Taylor Swift’s music now and then, even if it’s what she calls “an un-feminist guilty pleasure.”
What exactly makes Swift’s music “un-feminist”? Why, it’s the misogynist love-story lyrics, of course. Specifically, the lyrics to Swift’s newest hit, Mine, are scary stuff. They’re full of dangerous woman-hating, man-loving nonsense — at least according to the 18-year-old blogger Jamie Kieles whom Chloe quotes:
This song is rife with freaky-deaky, weirdo language that frames Swift as someone perpetually under the ownership, or at least care, of a male authority. The lyrics describe her as not a woman, but as a “careless man’s careful daughter” that her new boyfriend has “made a rebel of.” This is problematic to me, in the sense that it implies a transfer of her ownership from one man to another. I think it’s weird in this song that she doesn’t seem to have any sense of her own identity away from the love interest, or her father.
As a woman who considers the most important parts of her identity those of being someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, and someone’s mother, and as a mom of a 15-year-old girl who is fairly certain that Taylor Swift walks on water, I have spent some time pondering the question of this particular country star’s popularity.
Why is Swift so universally beloved? Sure, she can sing, but so can a lot of people.
I think Swift has enjoyed unprecedented success, especially among female listeners, because she’s not just a singer, she’s a writer. She began her career by winning a poetry contest when she was just nine years old.
But Swift is not just any writer. She’s a writer with a rare gift for giving voice to the longings of young girls’ hearts and souls. Feminists like Chloe and Jamie may not like it much, but little girls really do dream of being fairy princesses, meeting handsome princes, and . . . getting married and having babies. Just you try to stop them. The flowery details might vary from one young girl to the next, but the longing to find personal fulfillment in loving and being loved in return is a universally feminine one.
Taylor Swift did not create that kind of feminine desire – God did.
Women are uniquely capable of finding meaning through what Pope John Paul II calls “a sincere gift of self.” In Mulieris Dignitatem, he reminds us:
A woman’s dignity is closely connected with the love which she receives by the very reason of her femininity; it is likewise connected with the love which she gives in return. The truth about the person and about love is thus confirmed. With regard to the truth about the person, we must turn again to the Second Vatican Council: “Man, who is the only creature on earth that God willed for its own sake, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of self.”
Some women find personal fulfillment by responding generously to a call to a religious vocation. Others remain unmarried but devote their lives to nurturing others through their work, friendships, and volunteer efforts. But the vast majority of women respond to an instinctual drive to nurture and give of themselves to others by getting married and becoming mothers.
John Paul II called this drive to connect with and care for others part of our “feminine genius.” However politically incorrect it might be to embrace it, we women only hurt ourselves, our families, and especially our daughters when we try to redefine our nature, hide our true desires, and pretend our “genius” is not real
She may not intend to be a poster girl for authentic Catholic living, but Swift has tapped into a uniquely feminine longing and given it a voice, along with a rare sense of innocence. Contrast her particular brand of femininity with the sexual imagery pushed upon us by other popular music stars, such as Katy Perry or Lady Gaga, and you’ll soon see what kind of battle is being waged for young women’s hearts and minds.
Let’s see, little girls: Shall we seek personal fulfillment through a sincere gift of self and a life of self-giving love? Or by using sex as a weapon with which we attempt to dominate men?
Roll your eyes if you must, but my money’s on Swift, sappy love songs, and every little girl who dreams of loving others and being loved in return. Women who deliberately choose otherwise in the name of freedom and independence do so at the peril of their own happiness and satisfaction. In the end, no amount of feminist posturing can rewrite the lyrics that are written on every girl’s heart.
Image: Creative Commons SA
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Well put.
I agree with you about Taylor Swift. My 14 year old daughter is also a big fan. Pop music success is partly about talent and alot about marketing and promotion. Brittney Spears has limited singing ability but was very effectively packaged. Her managers gradually turned her into the sexually provocative performer she is now. As their audience becomes older promoters put extreme pressure on them to become more “mature”. I hope Taylor Swift doesn’t succumb to the pressure because she could give teenage girls the confidence they need to not compromise their self respect.
Thank you for sharing! I agree completely.
I wouldn’t know a Taylor Swift song if it were playing in front of me right now….not sure if my teen girls do either, but they seem to catch on to pop tunes when they hear them in the mall or dentist’s office…maybe I should investigate before commenting, but this looks like another teen idol who is going to fall off the pedestal as she gets older, more “adult” etc…
Taylor Swift does have good songs, but I have one problem with her new song “Mine”. She implies, in the second verse, that she has moved in with her boyfriend before eventually marrying him. Taylor is influential with young girls. That song might leave those same girls thinking that cohabiting before marriage is all right. I also have a problem with her song “Picture to Burn”. That one is about seeking revenge on an ex-boyfriend. I’m worried that girls might think it’s O.K. to do the wrong things that are mentioned in the songs. Taylor should be more careful about what she writes.
…in response to Jenny, I’d only like to say that it is my opinion that it’s a good thing that moms and dads are the ones who raise their daughters, not Taylor Swift. I think that your qualms with the song (which I heard repeatedly on a recent otherwise lonely roadtrip, and, in a guilty sort of way, really like) should be viewed in light of the ability of parents to positively influence their girls (and boys) to an extent at least the same as, if not greater than, Taylor Swift.
Sincerely,
Matthew Wade
I guess I just accidentally voted for someone’s comment, I did not actually agree with. I was just trying to ‘see more’ of the comment.
) Taylor Swift has sent some good messages to our girls, and that has to count for something. I too hope she never deviates from her more wholesome path. One can hope. (Or pray!)
Great insight here, Danielle. Taylor Swift may not be perfect or the very best role model we can hope (or pray, I prefer) for, but it’s my opinion that she is certainly the cream of the crop, at the moment!
I also have more respect for her, for her song writing abilities. The same can be said for a lot of artists I am a fan of right now. They are not just singing anything they ‘could have’ written, emotionally. To write or have written the lyrics/music, is the most respected part of any musical body of work, in my eyes. (Or ears?
…is that I find it hard to empathize with someone telling me how tough it is to be a drop-dead gorgeous blonde teenager.
>>>As a woman who considers the most important parts of her identity those of being someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, and someone’s mother…
Amen and thank you. Thank you for being you, Danielle, and for being a strong Catholic voice even when it’s not (perhaps) that popular.
good article!
I would like to coin a new word: gynophobia.
The fear of developing into a woman.
It’s symptoms are on display on the feminist blogs.
I have to disagree. I’m pretty sure that’s not what she means when she sings: “Flash forward and we’re taking on the world together.
And there’s a drawer of my things at your place.
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded,
You say we’ll never make my parent’s mistakes.
But we got bills to pay, we got nothin’ figured out,
When it was hard to take, yes yes, this is what I thought about.”
She never sings, “I moved in with my boy-friend.” I think when she sings, “Flash forward and we’re taking on the world together…”, she means she’s getting married. Taylor has morals and values, especially about things like that, and seeing how she wrote the song all by herself, I tend to think that she has no intention of the song coming across like it did for you.
As for “Picture to Burn”, Taylor wrote that song just to vent out her feelings about the boy. She didn’t revenge him, she was just mad, and took out her anger in a song. In fact, the song isn’t really about revenge at all. It’s about hating his pickup truck! The only lines about revenge are when she says she’ll go out with his best friends, and when she warns him to stay away or “my Daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be”. I would hope that after what that boy put Taylor through, her Dad wouldn’t let him around!
I couldn’t agree more – actually wrote a post similar to yours about a year ago. We can’t count on celebrities to be role models, but it’s wonderful every now and then when they set a decent example like Taylor has. http://citaonline.blogspot.com…ft_12.html
From watching the music video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBwXKgDTdE) I think you would conclude that she is moving in with him. With that said, the video does a great job of incorporating divorce, marriage, and having a family all into one positive message. I would encourage you to give it a look.
While I’m very much a country music fan, I do not have a problem at all when the good values often found expressed in country songs cross over into the pop arena. This is what I see happening with Taylor Swift.
First of all, I love this article! Although perhaps not the title, because everyone ‘matters’
Second, how could she be all moved in but have ‘one drawer of things’ at ‘his place’? I think that right there shows that’s not what she meant. Id watch the video to see what you meant but the link isn’t working.
Some readers had trouble accessing the “Mine” video link on the Feministing site, so I embedded it here.
I’m not really into her music, but Swift won me over last year with her hilarious and self-deprecating Saturday Night Live monologue. I can’t think of many starlets who could laugh at themselves like that. You can watch it here:
http://bit.ly/9MqdfB
First: great post!
Remember too when looking at music that not every word can be taken literally… I believe that we shouldn’t look at what could come (i.e. Taylor Swift will be the next Britney Spears) but at what is–that she is a talented woman with wholesome music. In the end, which would you prefer you children listen to–Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift? Lifehouse or The Pussycat Dolls? Also, use the songs that are not good (i.e. Nickelback, Animal) and go over with the child why overall this song is not good. One last thought…Taylor Swift or Bristol Palin for a public role model?
I agree that “one drawer of things’ at his place” is not a move in/cohabitation. However, I was puzzled by it when I watched the video and thought she had moved in with him. Turns out she was just helping him move in, though it’s not clear to the viewer at first glance.
I still shake my head when I think that the premier evangelistic message the Church has for our generation is “get married, be responsible to your kids and spouse, and stay married.” This could never have been an evangelistic gospel mission just one generation ago. Everyone KNEW that’s what people should do. What is this, Pagan Rome? I saw a study this week that said 64% of today’s teens see nothing wrong with out-of-wedlock parenting. (Out of wedlock parenting is the #1 cause of poverty!)
Shocking to think how the progressives changed the West’s laws and customs in just a little over 40 years. Well, what was re-engineered into the present mess can be UN-re-engineered. I guess that’s the Church’s mission in our day: restore marriage and family and rebuild it from total rubble.
I’m a 53 yr old mother of four daughters and one son, grandmother of three girls and a boy, and I love Taylor Swift’s music. Interestingly, it was my ten year old granddaughter who first introduced me to her through her “It’s a Love Story” video. My granddaughter clearly identifies with all the girls’ dreams and hopes in her songs. She’s listened to her aunts lament their miserable breakups and the things they’d like to do to the ex boyfriends and finds “Picture to Burn” pretty funny and a much better option than that in another country song that talks about vandalizing the ex’s pickup with a Louisville Slugger baseball bat.
This young woman has an uncanny knack for transporting me to times when I was much younger. I am vividly reminded of what it was like to be fifteen
and how true it is that in the end “I found some bigger dreams for me.”
I am delighted to know my granddaughter is listening to pretty wholesome music by this talented artist. In contrast, knowing that her 9 yr old cousin is very likely listening to the likes of Lady Gaga (she lives in another town and I have virtually no influence over those things) is depressing. I too am concerned that Taylor may become another Britney Spears or worse and often pray that doesn’t happen.
I think she’s a bright light among today’s singers and song writers and I can’t wait to hear the songs she’ll write in the future because she is so gifted at putting the joys, hopes and sometimes sorrows of girls’ lives into words in a way that no one has in a very long time.
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run
So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet ’cause we’re dead if they knew
‘Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
He’s got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart
Our song is the slamming screen door
Sneakin’ out late, tapping on your window
When we’re on the phone and you talk real slow
‘Cause it’s late and your mama don’t know
These are not lyrics I want my daughters listening to, or singing. My 14 year old, the oldest of my five daughters, listened to a Taylor Swift cd her cousin brought into our home and immediately declared it unfit for her younger sisters. There are lots of other implications in songs about dancing all night, kissing in the rain, and all sorts of other stuff that I don’t want my daughters’ heads filled with. There will be a time for dreams of romance when they are older and ready to find a husband.
I realize her music is tame in comparison to what else is out there, but I don’t think that it should be elevated to the level of something “positive” for our girls.
That said, I do like “Teardrops on my Guitar”. We pick and choose what plays in the van very carefully and are not opposed to a little fun!
Although I can see that Taylor Swift may be the best of what’s pop culture today, I’d have to say I think commenter Molly is right on. My own little girl is three now, but I certainly think that Swift’s idea of courtship isn’t something that I would promote. Also, given that teenage girls are so prone to romance anyway, shouldn’t we as parents promote less daydreaming and more character building? Idle minds are the devils plaything too.
All that said, I have to say I don’t know her music, but am assuming that the music video posted above is a good sample.
Wow! Thanks for all the comments.
I was concerned that no one would notice the cohabiting being implied in the song. I first read about it on http://www.pluggedinonline.org, a website linked to Focus On The Family (family.org). They review music.
I raised this issue because of something else I read: couples who move in together before getting married are more likely to get divorced down the road.
Also, if a couple were to cohabitate, the temptation to have sex with each other would be very strong. Any couple who cohabitates and say they can resist the urge are only kidding themselves. It ticks me off that some people have a casual attitude about cohabiting. Don’t they know the consequences?
There are way too many babies being born out of wedlock. If a woman gets pregnant, she and the father don’t always get married, hence all the single mothers. Some get married, but they eventually divorce.
This issue is personal for me. Twenty-seven years ago, my parents “went all the way.” (They were both still single and never married.) Some time later, my mother found out she was pregnant with me. A few months later, my parents got married in a civil ceremony since my mom wasn’t a Catholic at the time.(I don’t know why they didn’t have a convalidation ceremony at a Catholic Church, so don’t ask. That came years later when she converted.)I was born less than a month later. Mom and Dad had their 27th anniversary last month. I am proud to say that my brothers and I are still virgins. My sister is still young, but she’ll learn. My family is lucky, but I can’t say the same about others.
Believe me, folks. Our sins have ways of coming back to haunt us.
I mentioned that my brothers and I are still virgins and my sister is still young. I forgot to mention that my brothers and I are adults. My sister is eight years old going on nine this month. We will make sure she knows right from wrong.
I want to make another correction. I mentioned that my parents “went all the way.” At the time, both of them were still single and had never been married before. The same man who went all the way with my mother is the same man she married. Sorry. I just wanted to clear up any confusion.
My mother told me that Taylor recently stood on her feet for 14 hours signing autographs and taking photos with fans. She refused to leave until she had signed something for everyone waiting. I doubt there are many folks who would be willing to do that in the music industry these days.
that I am a role model for my daughters. Me and other women we actually know. That said, I like Taylor Swift. Do I expect her to sing songs that my kids can enjoy that specifically fit into Catholic values and teachings? Probably not. But most (not all) of her songs are pretty sweet. And she seems like she’s a nice person. We’ve talked about questionable lyrics. (And it cracks me up because sometimes my daughters think the words mean something completely different, and I’ve actually done a disservice by bringing the suggestiveness to their attention.) There is so much down right drag-you-down bad out there in popular culture, it’s nice there is at least something popular my and I girls can enjoy.
Thanks (again) Danielle. I think you speak my language.
I think we should avoid negotiating our standards. As others have mentioned, this individual doesn’t seem to share my world view. Check this out:
http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=2191
Again, let’s not compromise with the enemy.
http://www.nfl.com/photos/0900…5d81a66bc9 This is how Taylor Swift appeared to the world during an NFL game. Even if I loved her music, I just can’t see holding her up in any way as a role model for my daughters. And I wouldn’t want my boys close enough to her to get her autograph!
Granted, my firstborn daughter is still in utero, so perhaps I would share some of the above commenters’ criticisms of Taylor Swift if she were older. I listen to Swift’s music with amusement and even appreciation of her — overall — innocent, positive songs about the dreams of a teenage girl. I remember being 14 and having those same dreams of being whisked away by Prince Charming or Mr. Darcy — maybe my parents shouldn’t have let me read fairy tales and Jane Austen
Of course I needed years to grow up, mature and learn what constitutes real love — and a real man — but through the tumultuous years of adolescence, it was that idea of love — as romanticized as it was — that made me want more than the gossip-driven “love” dramas that filled the highschool hallways. If Taylor Swift encourages young teenage girls to hold on to their dreams about being truly loved and cherished by someone who respects them (or warns them in a big sisterly way that “love” at age 15 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be — http://www.metrolyrics.com/fif…swift.html), then I think that’s admirable.