All ten of us were in the van when it happened. Though we were only running some errands and stopping at the library, I had ignored the eye-rolling of my older kids and insisted on the entire family’s going out together.
One consequence of our growing-up family, I have found, is that we more and more often find ourselves going in different directions. Our older children are engaged in many individual pursuits these days — sports, jobs, and outings with friends. This is as it should be, but I do find myself fondly recalling our family’s younger years when we always traveled together, and I relish rare moments when all of my brood is together, under the one roof of our van.
So it was that, on this particular day, we were all together when my husband pulled into a left lane and waited to make a turn into a parking lot. And we were all together when a teenage girl, driving an SUV and talking on her cell phone, hit us full-force from behind.
Just like that.
In an instant, I went from talking about the location of the bottle of hand sanitizer and making a mental plan for dinner to unbuckling my seat belt in a panic and racing toward the back seats to check on my babies.
Five-year-old Raphael was holding his ears and crying. No blood, I quickly determined. The crash had only frightened him with its deafening thud. Seven-year-old Gabby was terror-stricken, too. Her wild eyes met mine and she repeated over and over again, “What happened? What was that?” Fourteen-year-old Eamon was angry. He looked back at the car that had rear-ended us and spoke a word I didn’t even know he knew.
I looked out the rear window, too. The young girl driver had exited her car and was sobbing into her cell phone. Small and frail, she fell to the ground and covered her face with her hands.
I was not angry. Only shaken.
I am not sure when Dan pulled the van into the parking lot or when he dialed 911, but before I knew it, I was holding a phone to my ear. A smooth-voiced woman on the line instructed me to check the kids for sore heads and necks. Yes, I told her, we have eight of those. She kept me there, talking, until the police and paramedics arrived.
And then I was grateful for flashing lights, men in fire suits, and a growing crowd of cool, collected people who took charge, examined us for injuries, and distracted me with eight-children’s worth of ambulance waivers.
All told, we were fine. And about 90 minutes later, when we drove away, I realized that the van was mostly alright, too. It had a sizable dent in the back bumper, but was drivable nonetheless. A veritable tank, one of the kids observed, and we all agreed.
Despite the fact that we were okay, I could not shake the image of that sobbing young girl standing beside her crumpled car. An airbag had spared her serious injury as well, but the entire incident had been a frightening and expensive wake-up call.
I could not lose the feeling that someone had grabbed hold of my shoulders and shaken me — good and hard. And I suppose we can all guess who that Someone might have been.
Pay attention, God told me that afternoon. Look at what matters. It’s not your plan for dinner or whether you forgot to pay the phone bill or how high the laundry is piling up in the bathroom.
It’s easy to say that we know we live an instant away from a crushing wake-up call, that we understand what matters most, and that we keep heavenly goals at the forefront of our minds, but I’ll be the first to admit that most days, I really don’t.
There’s just so much . . . stuff that fills my brain as a natural consequence of living a busy family life. Silly stuff. Lost toddler shoes, sand in the bathtub, spilled bowls of Cheerios, and ketchup stains on favorite t-shirts.
God allows the small stuff to fill our days and calendars, but He sometimes allows the wake-up calls, too. I pray that, in future days, I won’t wait for a crashing call to remember what matters most. I pray for grace to pause more frequently and assess the ways I choose to spend the limited resources of my time, energy, and attention.
What road am I on? Who is traveling with me? And in what direction are we headed . . . together?
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Oh Danielle, I am so thankful that you all were essentially unhurt! Thank you, Good Lord! It was scary to read this adventure; I had this sense of foreboding…
You know what, though? I can relate to your experience of a sudden and unpleasant, threatening-feeling ‘wake up call’. Last year I had surgery, but it was not just any surgery. They got ‘in there’ and wound up doing 3x as much as they had planned beforehand. I was told afterwards that this meant long-term pain & recovery, isolation, some hardship to be sure. I thought, ‘God, where are you?’
It turned out, as in your case, that I am fine. Along the way, however, through prayer, I learned that God really was wanting to get my attention. In fact, this whole time of ‘forced retreat’ was designed to sit me down & get me to LISTEN. To God, that is. Anyway, it worked; and I am the better for it.
There are times in life when we have the choice to stop for a bit and consider the things you ask: “What road am I truly on here? Who is with me in this? Where, exactly, am I going?” I hope you will take some time to consider all of this – it truly is God’s Gift to you, I think – as something similar has been, also, to me.
Glad you were all right.
I worked in Insurance Claims for nearly 5 years. While 4 of those were Investigation, that first year informed the other 4 and believe me, I learned a lot about paying attention.
It doesn’t surprise me that you recall the girl weeping into her phone. What was perhaps most surprising to me in my job in those years was people’s compassion for those who caused the accident. One in particular stands out to me, and it was one that renewed my faith in humanity and still occasionally brings tears.
You don’t know me at all, but do please feel free to email me with any questions on the Insurance process (at least in general terms…I can help you understand what your company and the opposing company is doing and some general terms proper to the processes and laws in each state). Know that it is not as oppositional as often people try to make you believe.
If you have a good Claims Rep, they will explain a great deal up front and try to anticipate your questions, as well as admit to what they don’t know.
Give that Rep the benefit of the doubt if they don’t seem to be doing the right thing; there are different levels of experience and one who hasn’t been there long isn’t going to know as much or be as effective as someone who has been there for years.
Hope this all goes smoothly for you and your family, that you are all truly all right and that your vehicle repairs go smoothly as well. Most importantly, I hope the spiritual impact is the one that is lasting!
God bless!
adorotedevoteblog@gmail.com
GOD BLESS YOU and your dear family…AND that poor girl, who also got a huge wake up call that day.
Thank you for sharing this with us…so that we can walk away from our computers today…a little more centered and focused on what is really important in this life.
Thanks for sharing this and reminding us of our priorities. Glad you are all ok. Hugs.
Hugs to you and yours. It’s true about the different directions and about how easily we are distracted from what matters. What’s strange is how quickly after something like that, we can go right back to sleep so to speak if we aren’t really listening.
Oh. my. goodness. And I know I’m getting old when I think about that scared young girl with my “mom hat” on, wanting to go and hug her too (and then put her phone under the tire of my van).